REVISION AND REWRITING

- REWRITING IS NOT JUST REWRITING

- IT’S RETHINKING RE-CONCEPTUALIZING AND APPROACHING NEW THINGS

Rethink:

- Perspective

- Structure (sequence of things)

- Obstacles

- Character’s behaviour, actions, speech

Everyone should at least try and rewrite their stories 5 times

You will never find out what is really in you until you write and rewrite

This doesn’t mean just polishing phrases

TIP

- Study your story, see it with a new vision and changed values

- Write it afresh

- Then maybe scrap it, start all over again – don’t be afraid to do this!

- After this, then you can begin “polishing”.

- Finding expressions with character, dialogue that has rhythm

- It may take 2 or more versions to bring out the full colour of the characters or yourself

REFLECT ON THIS!!

The inclination of the egoist is to get as much as he can, but at the same time not to change.

THE FINAL DRAFT

1) READ WITH A FIXED EYE (FOCUSED)

- Re-read through your story carefully

- Focus on a particular aspect each time, ie, character, location, action, etc.

Ask yourself:

- “Is the protagonist ALWAYS the focus of the story?”

- “Is he/she doing anything or is everyone else always doing stuff around him/her?”

- “Is he/she even there?!!”

2) THE CHAINSAW IS YOUR FRIEND

- Now is the time to look at script economy

- Why have your reader dying to finish after 4 pages when they could be craving more after 2?

Ask yourself:

- “Where do my scenes begin? Where do they end?” e.g. Cliffhangers

- “Can six lines be said in three?”

- “Can I trim the fat? Can I cut the exposition? Can I tell it visually instead?”

3) CRANK IT UP!

- The stakes are high – can they be higher?

- More to lose = More dramatic tension

Ask yourself:

- “Does everything matter enough? Can everything matter more?”
(Does the situation matter enough to the characters? If it matters more to the characters, the characters will matter more to the audience.)

- “Am I giving my characters hell? Is it fun to see them squirm and satisfying enough when they get out of it?”

Autograph Book

Field: Big and public area. Show their jealousy.

Bus: Good excuse to not sign the book because the bus is shaky.

Library: Vandalising books in the library. Provides secret location for her to vandalise so that nobody can spot her. Private place allowing her to put the coat on her friend.

Classroom: Public place for the quarrel

Staff room : Private place to reprimand her

FINAL DRAFT – 25%

3rd Person/ Present tense

3 pages max

12pt courier

1.5 spacing

DUE FRIDAY 29th JANUARY

-Conflict

-Location/Setting

What is a location?

e.g. Siberia

e.g. Adilah’s House

e.g. Void deck where Joshua had his first kiss

- A physical place (created or real)

(location must allow events to take place)

Location

- May also represent the ‘villian’ in the story

- What elements make the location interesting? E.g. geographical position, climate, rules (spoken & unspoken)

Interactive Location

- A setting and surrounding that interacts with the characters of the film by adding importance to their actions

- An environment which impacts the action and heightens the stakes

- Threat of being in the location

- Impact of a newly introduced character/element

-E.g. Norma Rae

Jurassic Park

-Location: Jurassic Park is a zoo/amusement park located on an island off the coast of Central America.

-Interactive Location: The island is completely isolated, and anyone on it will be trapped until assistance from the mainland arrives.

Constructive Feedback

Plot (Logical, Coherent)

Characters (Believable)

Conflict

What improvements

>> PURPOSE OF THE EXERCISE

- We write best what we know well

DYNAMIC ACTION

<< STORY IS ACTION >>

No action => No interaction => No reason for conflict

- Action encompasses any kind of movement, activity and interaction between the characters and also between the characters and their surroundings.

- Talking about how one feels is not as powerful as illustrating why one feels the way they do through action.

<< FILM IS BEHAVIOUR >>

- Action is the manifestation of behaviour.

- The complexity of the human psyche and interaction is better understood when it is possible to watch the actions, nuances and reactions of the characters.

<< DYNAMIC ACTION >>

- Has the potential to enrich the experience of the audience by heightening the stakes and increasing the tension.

MOVING PICTURES

THE POWER OF ANY STORY LIES IN THE NARRATOR’S ABILITY TO PROJECT A MENTAL PICTURE FOR THE AUDIENCE

Pabrik Dodol

Story is about the difference between rich companies with technology and poor companies with only human workers.

>> PURPOSE OF THE EXERCISE

- Addresses the problem many newbies have to screenwriting:
How to convey visually any sense of inner conflict of emotion.

EXERCISE:

In groups of 3, students randomly selected a scenario and act it out

RULES OF THE GAME:

Translating emotional responses into actions WITHOUT the use of dialogue

STEVE PVOLSKY’S “INJA” (Australia, 2001) 17 Minutes

Review: Inja

Recall and explain some actions/behaviour that was a result of emotions the characters felt.

Thembile loved the dog -> Stole rope from the flag to make a collar for it

Thembile scared of boss -> Forced himself to put the dog in the bag

Boss jealous of Thembile -> Wants dog to be more loyal to him

Thembile loved the dog -> Did not want the dog to think that the person who hit him was him

Boss and Thembile feel happy together -> Both laughed when the twig fell on the boss

Dog likes Thembile and doesn’t like boss at first -> Listens to his whistle but not to the boss’ whistle

Dog scared of Thembile -> Runs away after thinking Thembile was the one who hit him

Dog likes the boss more after the kicking incident -> Listens to boss but not Thembile

Dog likes the boss -> Tries to protect the boss

Dog fears that Thembile will attack the boss -> Tries to chase Thembile away

Thembile still loves the dog -> Does not want to shoot it even though boss told him to

Boss is selfish and desperate -> Cares about his own life more than the dog and asks Thembile to shoot the dog

ASSIGNMENT

1st DRAFT of STORY due Wed, 6 Jan 2010.

Printed copy in class. Softcopy on SafeAssign.

Format: Courier 12, single spacing. Minimum 2 pages, Maximum 3 pages.

- A character will talk about himself and other people will talk about him.

DIALOGUE ESTABLISHES RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN CHARACTERS

- Once you have established your main character’s POV, you can use dialogue with other characters to show that they have other attitudes, creating opposite/alternative POVs.

- This helps to create and sustain the element of conflict between characters

GOOD EFFECTIVE DIALOGUE WILL MOVE THE STORY FORWARD

DIALOGUE COMMUNICATES FACTS AND INFORMATION TO THE AUDIENCE

- It conveys essential exposition

- Characters will talk about what happened, establishing the storyline

DIALOGUE COMMENTS ON THE ACTION

DIALOGUE TIES THE SCRIPT TOGETHER

- It is one of the devices that YOU as a writer can use to expand and enlarge your characters.

“If you can see it or hear it, don’t write it.” – Neville Smith

DIALOGUE SHOULD BE USED SPARINGLY

NEVER TELL THE AUDIENCE WHAT THEY CAN SEE FOR THEMSELVES!!!

<< DIALOGUE IS NO SUBSTITUTE FOR ACTION >>

In Hollywood when they look at a page and it’s got too much black, too much ink on the paper, they say: “SHIT! IT’S FREEZE THE CAMERA TIME!!!”

This is because there are not enough visual elements to cover the dialogue.

COMMON MISTAKE:

- Students sometimes never achieve a level of competence as they tend to reproduce conventional spoken language, long statements of “REAL TALKING”, and defend their decision by telling us that: “It’s how the character speaks.”

GOOD DIALOGUE is not somebody’s ability to write authentic speech as heard in real life.

Examples of Bad Dialogue:

-Cheesy
-Unfocused
-Inappropriate tone/language
-Long-winded

- If that was all there is to it, you can just push a button on the tape recorder and then go collect your Oscar

GOOD DIALOGUE is the illusion of reality.

- You’ve got to know how to edit what people say without losing any of the spirit.

COMMON MISTAKE:

- Students tend to create radio shows with images.

<< FILM IS A VISUAL MEDIUM >>

A SCREENPLAY IS A STORY TOLD IN PICTURES.

EXERCISE: WRITING DIALOGUE

ROLE-PLAY:
-2 Students to play the role from their stories.

The Scenario:

-a middle-aged man returns home from work

-he had stopped for a few drinks with his friends and forgot to phone his wife to tell her he’ll be late

-the dinner is ruined

Exercise:

Husband: I’m back, honey. What’s for dinner?

Wife: Have you forgotten what day today is?

Husband: Oh yeah, it’s Sam’s birthday isn’t it?

Wife: It’s the 19th of December, our wedding anniversary. How could you forget?

Husband: Oh god, I’m so sorry, honey. I’ve been so busy with work that it totally slipped off my mind.

Wife: But you promised to be home early!

Husband: Look, I’ve already apologised. What more do you want?

Wife: You’ve been drinking again, haven’t you?

Husband: What are you talking about? I stayed back with John to discuss about a project. Anyway, why are you complaining so much? I didn’t complain when you drove my car into the swimming pool.

THE REAL EXPERIENCE:
Repeat “THE EXPERIMENT” but:
-Husband and Wife are YOUR own parents.
-Get two people to read the dialogue.
-Record the reading
-Post it to your blog (using Youtube, Multiply, etc.)

>> PURPOSE OF THE EXERCISE

-A true story is not necessarily a good story

-Stories have to be worked and reworked

-True life stories do not offer neat and relevant endings

-Life is unpredictable

-In a story, we can and must control the events and sequences so that it gives the appearance of being like life

Characterization: Defining the character

-Every story starts with a character

The character is…

the heart,

the soul,

and nervous system.

It is through your characters that the viewers experience emotions

<WITHOUT A CHARACTER. THERE IS NO ACTION>

<WITHOUT ACTION, YOU HAVE NO CONFLICT>

<WITHOUT CONFLICT, YOU HAVE NO STORY>

<WITHOUT STORY, YOU HAVE NO SCREENPLAY>

DEVELOPING CHARACTERS

WHEN DEVELOPING A CHARACTER, ASK YOURSELF:

-> Who is your character?
-> What does he want?
-> What is his quest?
-> What drives him to the resolution of the story?

1. Establish your main character
Character should have a 3 Dimensional Structure.

a) Physiology (Physical Appearance)

- Sex
- Age
- Height, Weight
- Colour of hair, eyes, skin
- Posture
- Appearance
- Defects, abnormalities, deformities, birth marks, diseases
- Heredity

b) Sociology (His position in society, e.g. from middle income family)

- Class (lower, middle, upper)
- Occupation: type of work, hours of work, income, condition of work, attitude towards organization, suitability for work
- Education: amount, kind of schools, marks, favourite subjects, poorest subjects, aptitudes
- Home Life: parents living, earning power, orphan, parents separated / divorced, parents’ habits, parents’ mental development, parents’ vices, neglect, character’s marital status
- Religion
- Race, Nationality
- Place in the Community; leader among friends, clubs, sports
- Political Affiliations
- Amusements: hobbies, books, newspapers, magazines he/she reads

c) Psychology (How the character thinks)

- Sex Life, Moral Standards
- Personal Premise, Ambition
- Frustrations, Chief Disappointments
- Temperament: choleric, easy-going, pessimistic, optimistic
- Attitude Towards Life: resigned, militant, defeatist
- Complexes: obsessions, inhibitions, superstitions, phobias
- Personality: extrovert, introvert
- Abilities: language, talents
- Qualities: Imagination, judgment, taste, poise
- I.Q. & E.Q.
- What is the deep and personal secret this character has which he is desperate to protect/hide?

1. SEPARATE THE COMPONENTS OF HIS LIFE INTO 2 BASIC CATEGORIES:

a) Interior (Everything we don’t see on the screen)

- The interior life takes place from birth until your story begins.

- It is a process that forms character. [when you start formulating your character from birth, you see your character build in body and form]
* How old is he when the story begins?
* Where does he live?
* Does he have siblings?
* What kind of childhood did he have?
* What was his relationship to his parents?
* What kind of child was he?
* Is he married, single, widowed, separated or divorced?

b) Exterior (Everything we see in the film)

- The exterior life takes place the moment your story begins to it’s conclusion

- It is a process that reveals character
* Who are they and what do they do?
* Are  they sad or happy with their life?
* Do they wish their life was different? Another job, another wife?

>> YOU MUST CREATE YOUR CHARACTERS IN RELATIONSHIP TO OTHER PEOPLE OR THINGS

ALL DRAMATIC CHARACTERS INTERACT IN 3 WAYS:

1. They EXPERIENCE CONFLICT in achieving their dramatic need. [e.g., Rob a bank, rob a store, rob a person?]

2. They INTERACT with other CHARACTERS. [Either in an antagonistic, friendly or indifferent way]

3. They INTERACT with THEMSELVES. [e.g., He overcame his fear of being caught by pulling off the robbery successfully]

How do you invent characters?
-Try turning them upside down.

A monk who is devoted to his religion…
…but is a football fanatic

A serial killer…
…whose obsession is to kill other serial killers

A common street rat…
…who loves to eat and cook only find food

Next Week

Storytelling Techniques Quiz #1

REVIEW

-3 storytelling tools
-Memory
-Observation
-Experience

-Aristotle’s storytelling techniques
-Developing 3 dimensional characters
-Writing for an audience

jealousy > death threat

rage > violence

impulsiveness > misunderstanding

gullible, too kind, trust worthy > being taken advantage of

Review Exercise: Letter to the Past

->Sparked off Event/Person
->Reflection emotions then and now
->Most important thing you wanted to know/say (mostly due to fear of confrontation->leads to having to deal with the situation)
->Revisit the past -> ?

-Purpose of exercise: The letter is a practical, personal example of how a character – YOU – undergo an inevitable process of change

-This process of change is an essential ingredient of any effective story

-In dramatic writing, the very essence is character change

observation -> learn from it
experience -> learn from it
memory -> learn from it

Storytelling Tool 2: Experience

A storyteller should be concerned with the potential of every experience

Everything about you – where you were born, what food you eat, the bump on your forehead – your experiences are unique and irreplaceable

Many of your experiences are universal and translatable and can be used in any location

TIPS:

If you don’t know what to do with a character, make him yourself for a while.

See how he relates to the world he has been thrown into.

>>>Plunder your own personal background
The things that happen to you as you grow up and the things that are currently happening to you make terrific story sources

Record experiences
-> diary
-> blog

Reflect your past
(Colourful past)

Recall how you felt (then and now)

All people have fragments of stories

These potential ideas prompt your desire to know more

Respond emotionally and intellectually to what you heard (We feel before we think)

Good stories are born in the heart, not the head

Remember the role of an audience

After all, you are the audience

Initial ideas

Sparked by emotions and memories (heart)

Develpment stage

(In your head)

1) Take the audience on a ride of discovery
2) Feed them new information

Storytelling Tool 3: Memory

Your memory is a wonderful cabinet of past incidents which you have experienced or been told

These memories are points of reference to your own past existence

TIPS:

Write what you do not know because you will find some part of you that does know
->imagination
->research
->interviews

There is always room for personal discovery

What is the difference between memory and experience?
-Experience is what you really go through.
-Memory is manufactured (what you remember)

How do we use memory to build creative content?

Review of Shawshank Redemption

Why would we classify Andy as a tragic hero?
Andy is a tragic hero because he was a man who had everything but experienced a great reversal of fortune due to one of his flaws. He had a successful career and a great life ahead of him. Unfortunately, he lost everything when he was convicted of murdering his wife and her lover, based on strong circumstantial evidence.

What was his flaw and how did it cause his fall from grace?
Andy was too innocent(no pun intended). He didn’t know what the world was really like and he never expected his wife to be cheating on him. He could not face the cruel fact that his wife was cheating on him and in his drunken state, he even contemplated killing the adulterous couple. Although he didn’t kill his wife in the end, he was still convicted of murder due to the “evidence” that he left behind near the murder scene and he was sent to jail with a life sentence for something that he didn’t do.

What lessons did he learn from his mistakes?
Andy learnt that if he wanted to survive in this cruel world, he had to be cruel himself.

How did he change and how did he change others?
He knew that he had to resort to trickery and schemes if he wanted to survive or even escape from the prison. He managed to gain the trust and protection of the prison guards so that other people in the prison would not be able to hurt him. He even laundered money for the prison warden under a false identity, in exchange for allowing him to keep his private cell and to continue maintaining the library.
Andy also convinced his newly made friends in the prison that there was always hope that they could one day leave the prison although most of them believed that it was hopeless. When Andy finally managed to escape from the prison, they finally realised that there really is hope after all.

Incorporate principles of tragedy into your writing!

Tragedy does not mean that something bad happens and the story ends.

It means something bag happens as a result of a flaw in your character

What is tragedy?

Imitation of action(mimesis) that is serious, complete and of a certain magnitude; in language embelllished with each kind of artistic ornament; in the form of action not narrative; with incidents arousing pity and fear. wherewith to accomplish its kartharsis of such emotions.

6 parts of tragedy:

Plot – arrangement of incidents

Characters

Thought – amount of thoughts that goes into it

Diction – how someone delivers a line

Melody – music that makes you scared, happy, hopeful, etc..

Spectacle – smoke, sand, special effects…

Tragedy creates a cause-effect chain that clearly reveals what may happen. Arouses not only pity but also fear, because numbers of the audience can imagine themselves within the cause-effect chain

What is plot?

Plot is the arrangement of incidents.

It is not the story itself, but the way the incidents are presented to the audience.

The structure of the play

Beginning

The incitive moment

It must start the cause and effect chain.

Middle

Climax

It must be caused by earlier incidents and itself cause the incidents that follow it.

End

Resolution

Must be caused by the preceding events but not lead to other incidents.

The end should resolve the problem created during the incitive moment.

Episodic plots

According to Aristotle, the worst kinds of plots.

The acts (episodes) succeed on another without probability or necessity.

The only thing tying together the events in such a plot is the fact that they happen to the same person.

Simple vs Complex Plots

Simple plot

Has only a “change of fortune”

Complex plot

Has a reversal of intention “peripeteia” and recognition “anagnorisis” connected with the catastrophe.

Character

In the ideal tragedy, the protagonist will mistakenly bring about his own downfall – not because he is sinful or weak – but because he does not know enough.

This lack of self-knowledge is called “hamartia”.

Katharsis – Purification, purging, cleansing, clarification of strong feelings or emotions, usually at the end of a film.

Mimesis – imitation of an action; it’s art imitating life. Anagnorisis -moment where the character makes a critical discovery.

Peripeteia – Reversal of intention and situation; plot twists that result in a character change.

Hamartia – Character flaw or error which is no fault of the character.

3 Act structure

1st Act: set up Story begins with a goal-oriented character introduced at a point of crisis. The character meets roadblocks produced by the plot and antagonist.

2nd Act: confrontation Action intensifies an event happens which forces the character to make his or her choice.

3rd Act: resolution level of efforts rises to new heights. both plot and character resolved. but the main character either achieves or does not achieve his goal.

Assignments:

Visual Trigger:
Find an image and tell a story that comes to your mind as you see it.
Pictures should not be taken for this purpose – use only pictures you can find.

-Observe in a conscious way

Observation

-behaviour

-attire

-speech

-stance/gait (Posture, Gestures)

-physical looks

A – Attire

B – Behaviour

C – Characteristics

D – Dialogue

E – Expression

F – Facial Features

G – Gestures

-Train yourself to see and record:

*movements
*physical characteristics
*settings

-Adopt a keen eye

-Develop a natural sense of curiosity

-An observed event, when subject to simple questions, can set up a sequence of possibilites that will develop into a story worth telling

For e.g when you observe a couple having a meal yet totally not talking…. what questions come to mind?

-Whom am I writing about?
-Who is my character?
-What is he/she/it like?
-What does he/she/it/ do?
-What happens to him/her/it in the story?

Exercise: Awareness Level

-People rarely observe familiar people or things closely

-Most people pass through the day with 20-30% awareness

Mindless Observation VS True Observation

-Observe in a conscious way
-Develop the ability to see and record people:
*Their MOVEMENTS
*Their PHYSICAL CHARACTERISTICS
*The SETTING/PLACES they’re in

Exercise: People-Watch

1. Walk into the canteen/library, etc. and watch people pass by.
2. Eventually, one will catch your attention.
3. Write down as many details as possible through observation.
4. Repeat steps 1-3 for a second character
5. Transcribe all these details into the “PEOPLE-WATCH” page that you will create on your blog.

-2 genders
-2 different settings
-2 different age groups

-Serious disagreement

-Hostile encounter

-Struggle(Mental,Emotional,Physical)

-Opposition of persons or forces

-Can result internally or externally

- It is interaction of opposing ideas, interests, or wills that creates the plot

Types of Conflict

-Dramatic conflict is the protagonist’s struggle against something or someone

*man vs man*

*man vs environment*

*man vs system*

*man against self*

-Variations of conflict can arise from gender, age, religion and culture

Causes & Effects of Conflict

-Conflict arises when there is CHANGE

-Changes may be major or minor

-While change is universal and common, it is not always accepted

-Examples of changes: Seasons, lives, relationships, feelings, bodies, locations, technologies

-Conflict arises when people resist changes

-The intensity of conflict depends on how people react to the change

-People must learn to cope with change if they want to survive

-The action in drama depends on conflict

Importance of Conflict

-Plot cannot be constructed without conflict

-Central feature of the screenplay

-As your characters attempt to reach their goals, they come into conflict with each other

-The end of the story nears when the protagonist and antagonist approach their goals and the conflict arises to generate maximum suspense and excitement

Writing for an Audience

-screenwriter = storyteller

-People to people

What is the writer’s purpose?

To connect the audiences:

-Themselves
-Their unique vision
-The material/issue
-The drama
-Others

Audiences want to be transported by a screenplay.

Where do you look for a story?

-Within yourself eg. experiences, memories, emotions

-Practice observing, ‘listening’ and reading body language of people

-Figure how to connect your viewers to your story through emotions, characters, etc.

Assignments

-5 Stories of exactly 50 words each, posted to your blog.